An open letter to you.
I haven’t seen you in quite some time. I daresay that thoughts of me haven’t run across your mind since the last time we spoke. The crazy thing… and yes, I’m fully aware that it is crazy… is that thoughts of you jump to the forefront of my mind quite frequently.
I know you don’t miss me. Right?
I miss you. I think?
What is worse than the struggle of missing someone that doesn’t miss you back? The struggle of wondering if I miss you or if I miss the promise you stole from me. In our brief but lovely time together you made me believe in something. You had me falling for the fantasy. “Finally,” I thought, “here you are. I have been waiting on you.” I loved who we were together. I enjoyed being around you. I craved the way you made me feel. But could I get that from anybody or was it just you?
Just as fast as it was given to me it was snatched away. Why had you given me that miniscule bit of hope? Did you believe in it too? Or is that your game?
Are you in love with love? Did you really feel anything or do like to play pretend?
In the end, I guess I won’t ever know what the name of the game was. You ended it and that was that. I had no say I could only accept. I was happy when we were together. You said you were too. You said you were enamored by our connection. You squeezed my hand and pulled me close, amazed with our common interest.
But in the end you completely blindsided me.
Now I am here. Writing this silly little letter. I am annoyed with myself for writing it. But I guess I’d rather get it all out. (but who am I kidding. I will continue to think about it long after I abandon Starbucks for the comfort of home. I’ll lay in bed and think and think and think. #sick.)
I am sick of thinking about how perfect it all could’ve been.
I am sick of going through everything that happened and trying to pinpoint where I caused it to go wrong.
But most importantly, I am sick of believing that a second go at it, with you, is just around the corner.
“He will see the light… He will realize what we had… I know he’ll text me. It was too good.”
Again and again these words rattle through my mind.
However, enough time has passed for my rational mind to realize… too much time has passed.
There will be no text, no phone call, no knock on the door.
And that makes me really sad.
All thats left is to be haunted by thoughts of you until the next jerk comes along! #lovely
My parting words to you… the last thing I feel like there is left to say is…
Sweetheart, you could’ve had it so good.
P.S. You probably think this letter is about you. But babe, it aint.